Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
competitive world, the majority of the
artists
Use synonyms
receive less income,
due to
Linking Words
the fact that the arts are deprioritized activity in the nation. In order to support them, it is recommended that the government should support them financially for their survival. In my view, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion and will provide relevant information to support my decision in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, arts are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultural activities and treated under the luxurious category in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
opted
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
minimal
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
of the population for their survival.
However
Linking Words
, government spending funds for
this
Linking Words
kind of activities is not recommended, as there are more important and burning problems
exist
Correct pronoun usage
that exist
show examples
in society. To exemplify, health and education are
utmost
Correct article usage
the utmost
show examples
important categories to be prioritized
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that the majority of the citizens under the poverty line can be treated with sophisticated medical facilities and valuable education. On the flip side,
artists
Use synonyms
can
horn
Verb problem
hone
show examples
their skill sets in different magnitudes, so that the chances for the new opportunities will arise so that the income.
In addition
Linking Words
, our nation is indirectly supporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artists
Use synonyms
in various areas by providing the right platforms to learn and sharpen their skills.
For example
Linking Words
, there is an artist in the Telugu film industry, who acquired multiple talents at the same time, like, singing, dancing, performing magic shows and basically, he is a comedian. To summarize, yes,
artists
Use synonyms
and encouragement
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artistic cultures
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. But, the government should not be burdened for taking care of the
artists
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
, the funds can be utilised for many more pressing problems that are existing in the society at present.
Submitted by eshwar10882 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve task achievement by clearly stating your stance in the introduction and ensuring all body paragraphs contribute to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by using more cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: