IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

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It is important to help roofless
people
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.
Although
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 if government gives
money
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 to them it could be helpful for them to create their own lifestyle.
However
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 not all cases.
In contrast
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, they could waste
this
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money
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. When homeless
people
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 receive
money
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, they can supply their own life expenses.
As a result
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, in the process, they could recover themselves and create their own lifestyle.
For example
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, it was proved that in 2017 there was an experiment in which was USA gave a particular amount of
money
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 to homeless
people
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 and in the survey 37% recovered themselves and created their own lifestyle.
Thus
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,
this
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 method could be helpful in some cases. From the other perspective, it could be harmful too.If they get
money
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 they might spend
money
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 for another way.
Moreover
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, they can waste
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 for unnecessary things as they do not have enough knowledge about how to avoid
such
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 kind of situation and about how to spend
money
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 efficiently
as well as
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way.Consequentially, after spending they will come back again to
this
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 situation.
For instance
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,it was proved that in 2015 there was an experiment in which was UK gave a certain amount of budget to roofless
people
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 and
at the end
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 of the survey 50% wasted their
money
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 and returned to the perverse circle of their lives.
Therefore
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,
for
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this
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 reason, it could be non-beneficial sometimes.
To sum up
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, if the homeless get the
money
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 it can lead to supply life expenses.
However
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, in some cases, it could not work they waste their
money
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. My personal opinion is that they should not given
money
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 for these reasons.

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the stance on the topic. This sets the tone for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
Consider adding more cohesive devices to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify complex ideas for better understanding and avoid overly long sentences that may confuse the reader.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, which adds strength to the arguments.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion, acknowledging both potential benefits and drawbacks of giving money to homeless people.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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