IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducting. What are the reason forthis how can this problem be solved.

#countries #people #visit #art #galleries #reason #forthis
From a couple of decades, there is an immense decrease in the number of people visiting art galleries, since they give more preference to watch it online via their smartphones.
Although
 there is a number of potential factors behind
this
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
such
 as convenience approach and saving time through their phones,
this
 can be resolved to some extent by awareness and creating events.
This
 essay will discuss some fundamental reasons and measures to address
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, there are multifarious factors which elaborate that why the numbers of people collapsed who visit art exhibitions.
Firstly
, with the escalating usage of mobile devices, mass starts giving preference to watch everything including craft on it since it is a more convenient way as compare to visit that location in person. What is more, sitting at home, and enjoying a variety of art with a great comfort level, saves the time and cost of people.
In other words
, a person does not need to spend travelling cost as well as waste their time to see the craft exhibition if they have an option to enjoy it while sitting at home.
Nevertheless
,
this
 phenomenon can be solved by considering some possible solutions.
First
 of all, as there is less awareness among the people regarding the art-related exhibits,
this
 could probably be the main issue which cannot be overcome until and unless these organisations spread printing information as well as online updates on their websites.
As a result
, folks will start taking an interest.
Besides
this
, these organisations should create events for different age groups so that people come to get small rewards after taking part in quiz competitions related to arts.
Hence
,
This
 will encourage more and more visitors. To recapitulate, even though phones are the fundamental reasons for not visiting craft galleries because it facilitates comfortability and convenience, by organising events and awareness,
this
 practice can be resolved easily.
Submitted by deepamankaur208 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: