IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organization all their life. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Discuss both views and gives your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life
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Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, the majority of people
incline
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inclined
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 to stay at the same
place
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 where they
work
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 in , so its
tdebatable
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debatable
 subject , some argue that it is the best for
one
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's to found job in different employer rather than functioning for the same company for their whole life and other
oppese
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oppose
this
Linking Words
 .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both of views given ,
Moreover
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will
ilustrate
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illustrate
 why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with the
second
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 view.
Firstly
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 , it's
notable
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not able
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 to say that it is difficult to someone to alter the
place
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 where he worked for
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most
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mostly
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most
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 of his life due to many reasons , On
one
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 hand
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,
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it's
nature
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natural
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 that the human face difficulty to take a big
decsion
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decision
 that may impact his
finicial
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financial
 situation , because of
this
Linking Words
 fears ,it may be better to
remian
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remain
 working in the same employer ,
for example
Linking Words
 , when someone leaves his job in the same organisation he had working in for 10 years with a good salary , he may not found the same chance with a good income in the other business owner .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , there is a lack of function chances , so it is never been easy and simple to the person to find
other
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another place
other places
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place
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 to
work
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 in ,
for instance
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 ,
one
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 essay coming from university of oxford reported that 65%of employees who
leaved
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left
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 their
work
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 couldn't find another convenient
work
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. it is important to
one
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's to maintain his job
In contrast
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 ,The mostly tend to
thnik
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think
rethink
 that it is better to look around and find the most
suiltable
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suitable
place
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 to
work
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 in ,
first
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 of all
Add the comma(s)
,
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there are a numerous number of people who get bored and inclines to change everything starting from the
place
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 he started his duty in ,
its
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it
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 is a nature of human being , to get rid of routine , so
one
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's wont stop
searchig
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searching
 for
n
Add an article
a
the
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ew
place
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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unless he feels interested and
belong
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belongs
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 to the area ,
consequently
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 many
reccomend
Correct your spelling
recommend
 to turn the area where he worked to conclude , it depends in the situation and convenience the
one
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 looking for ,
this
Linking Words
 essay discussed why it is important to the person to change the organisation he
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
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 in . and it is better to
one
Use synonyms
 to think and speculate before applying to
n
Add an article
a
the
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ew step.
Submitted by y.ghorayed on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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