IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #course #study #basis #interests #kinds #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that choosing a proper
course
Use synonyms
 is one of the crucial actions to have a prosperous future. Some people think that they should select the
course
Use synonyms
 that enables them to work in demanded jobs, not following their
interest
Use synonyms
. Since, there are factors as well-being and a willing, playing a significant role
on
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 creating a successful career, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, students should study the
course
Use synonyms
 they are interested in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it has a direct impact on well-being.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many occupations may attract students with well-paid salaries, and high standards of privileges,
however
Linking Words
, unpleasant jobs might become boring after a particular period, due to
unexistance
Correct your spelling
existence
nonexistence
inexistence
 of
interest
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they would like to go outside the box
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and look for
such
Linking Words
 an exciting job that they would be ready to work for free in order to take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pleasure.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they may waste their valuable time studying unnecessary subjects, which could be spent on obtaining fundamental experience of their scale of
interest
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there should be a strong will that always pushes young people to learn more and perform better. Regular jobs that force them to work to earn a particular amount of money to cover living expenses might be limited by their poor performance. Obviously,
this
Linking Words
 two-sided unprofitable situation can be fixed by students through breaking the limits with
h
Add an article
a
show examples
uge
interest
Use synonyms
 in learning. In conclusion, people should not be distracted by
m
Add an article
the
show examples
onetary benefits of employment, while choosing the courses.
Instead
Linking Words
, they must keep progressing and discover new abilities by a significant involvement
on
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 studying the
course
Use synonyms
 they feel a strong
interest
Use synonyms
, to have a successful long term career.
Submitted by sherdorbakhtiyorov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: