IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important problems. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are arising at an alarming rate. Some people say that the main environmental problem of
out
Use the right word
our
show examples
 time is the loss of particular species of
plants
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
, others say that there are more environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I shall discuss both the views and give my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we have observed extinction over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 in many
plants
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 various reasons
such
Linking Words
 a
pollution
Use synonyms
, excessive hunting,
climate
Correct word choice
and climate
show examples
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
. All the
plants
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 play an important role in our ecosystem, as
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 is interdependent. Absence of one particular type of animal can have
“domino
Correct article usage
a “domino
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 effect” on the entire ecosystem. Every living creature has a right to live
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we should provide them a life free from the
problems
Use synonyms
 caused by us
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 a
nutshell
Add a comma
nutshell,
show examples
 our
problems
Use synonyms
 should not hamper them.
However
Linking Words
, we are facing bigger environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 than just
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of certain
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
.
Pollution
Use synonyms
 is one of the biggest environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 that we are facing currently
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is growing at an exponential rate. We need to divert our resources and provide efforts to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
, ensure that our environment is clean. Another big issue is
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of paper,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
cutting
Correct article usage
the cutting
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 of trees in hectares
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a fresh tree will take a decade to grow to its fullest. We are running
to
Use the right word
too
show examples
 fast in the consumerism and profit race
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
example
Change preposition
For example
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: Apple
claiming
Wrong verb form
claims
show examples
 that they will not sell chargers with their phone to conserve
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, we
Punctuation problem
. We
show examples
 really need more bold steps than just mockery. It is high time that we stop and look at what
have we
Correct word order
we have
show examples
 done to the environment in order to achieve our desires.
To conclude
Linking Words
, if we focus
majorly
Replace the word
mainly
show examples
 on the bigger environmental
problems
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
Use synonyms
pollution
Change preposition
as pollution
show examples
 and excessive cutting of trees, we will actually solve the extinction problem to a great extent. If
needed
Punctuation problem
needed,
show examples
 we can of course provide extra effort for saving particular species of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your view clear. write your main idea at the start and stick to it.
cohesion
Use easy links to join ideas, like and, but, also, so.
content
Give one or two simple examples for each idea and say why they matter.
language
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
coherence
The paragraphs have ideas in a rough order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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