Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a negative or positive development?

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Massive technological developments turned out to become the biggest phenomenon happening on Earth
this
past decade. Innovation made by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, has led to the existence of some devices,
such
as
smartphones
.
Furthermore
, the access of obtaining a smartphone has been improved, leading to a wide and long
use
of
this
device by people of various ages, including
children
who tend to
use
it excessively.
However
, despite the positive impacts of possessing a smartphone,
this
development has been known to create bigger drawbacks, especially for
children
. These disadvantages include the decrement of brain functions and communication skills.
For instance
, most
children
are found to be spending their time on their
smartphones
more than the appropriate duration of
use
, which is only 3 hours a day.
This
habitual activity has been proven to affect their brain function, supported by the fact that some
children
struggle to focus on their studies.
In addition
to that, using
smartphones
for a long duration might play a significant role in decreasing the communication skills of
children
. Some
children
prefer spending their time playing games to playing with real friends.
This
phenomenon would definitely result in
children
with a lack of communication skills if happens in the long run. As a way of conclusion, I strongly believe that the outcomes of
this
development are negative rather than positive.
Thus
, parents as guardians must be wise in letting their
children
use
smartphones
.
Submitted by ferdimasabrar2072 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you write a clear thesis statement that outlines your argument and points you will discuss. This will help the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more detailed and elaborative explanations for the points you present, as well as clear examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
In your introduction, make sure to address both parts of the question directly, stating whether you believe the development to be positive or negative, and provide a brief reasoning.
task achievement
For task achievement, address all parts of the prompt fully, offering a balanced discussion before reaching your conclusion. Include more specific examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
Expanding on your ideas and examples, particularly in the body paragraphs, will ensure a more comprehensive response to the task and help to highlight clear, relevant points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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