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Band 6

In the future people may have to live on other planets.Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #planets #think #money
In the wake of advancing technology, people think that
human
Replace the word
humanity
show examples
 has an ability to live on other planets in the future,
such
 as Mars.
Hence
, they believe that we should allocate more
money
 to do the
research
 on the other livable planets. I disagree with
this
 notion. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give the reason od disagreement. On one hand, there are some reasons that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 people want to live on other planets, like air pollution and the increasing populations.
For example
, many people use their vehicle every day.
This
 makes many exhaust fuels and makes air pollution.
As a result
, our planet becomes contaminated.
Moreover
,
Add an article
the
an
show examples
increasing population is
also
 another big issue.
For instance
, the number of populations had an upward trend all over the world.
This
 makes our communities become dense and uncomfortable.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 two main reasons make people try to
research
 another livable planet to live.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 some drawbacks to do
research
 and live on other planets,
such
 as to spend a lot of
money
. The best example is governments need to allocate many resources to do the
research
 of other livable planets. In fact, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much infrastructure need to spend
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
money
 to create and rebuild.
Thus
, governments might get financial trouble and stress.
In addition
, it would be just for wealthy people to live on the other planets. The evidence is you might require much
money
 to live on other planets because
this
 emits enough perfect supporting to help you adapt or live on another planet.
Consequently
,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 only wealthy people have an ability to do
this
. In conclusion, there are some problems that we need to face in today's world,
such
 as air pollution and increasing population.
This
 makes people explore more possibilities to live out of the earth.
However
, I strongly believe that the earth is the most suitable for human to live.
This
 is because the government needs to allocate more
money
 on the
research
 and it might just suitable for people who have enough
money
.
Submitted by yeahkubi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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