Mothers generally stay home to take care of their children after pregnancy. Do you support the opinion that this mothers should be compensated by the government.

#mothers #home #care #children #pregnancy #support #government

It has commonly

observed

Add a missing verb

been observed

show examples

that

mothers

provide their contribution and choose to stay at home to

care

for their children during the maternity period. In

this

essay, I will consider both the view with the idea of financial help to

mothers

. It is true that child-rearing is played a crucial role in a parent's life.

However

, the first reason is that

women

need some money to contribute to the family income.

Moreover

women

have rare opportunities to work part-time,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

some

women

struggling

Wrong verb form

struggle

show examples

with these basic problems

such

as parental

care

during pregnancy

due to

poverty.

Hence

, it is reasonable to support

mothers

with compensation money.

For Instance

women

have an extra financial burden related to prenatal

care

, preparing for a new baby and

then

care

Wrong verb form

caring

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

the baby. If

women

supported

Add a missing verb

are supported

show examples

by the government, it will be more helpful to survive and give proper nutrients to kids for raising

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

However

, some government employees oppose that

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

of the country could not allocate huge funds in

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

maternity because it affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other social programs,

such

as supporting orphans.

In addition

, it

also

affects the economy. If compensated for each woman for child caring, the budget would

get suffering for

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

financial problems and

also

it gives

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative impacts on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other supporting and social activities.

As a result

, it is irrational to bring changes to the budget in favour of unemployed

mothers

. In conclusion, some government employees should abandon any attempt to compensate jobless

mothers

for motherhood, I believe that they should help them.

Submitted by Ishaan433 on Sat Nov 28 2020

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task response

The essay lacks a clear and thorough response to the given topic. The argument is not well-developed and lacks sufficient reasoning and evidence to support the opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay struggles with coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is underdeveloped, and the essay lacks clear introduction and conclusion. The supporting points lack clear connections and transitions, making the essay difficult to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Mothers generally stay home to take care of their children after pregnancy. Do you support the opinion that this mothers should be compensated by the government.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.