Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women

There is a school of thought

says

Correct pronoun usage

that says

show examples

men aggressively compete;

women

collaborate and nurture.

Although

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

female is taking over almost every sphere; many people still believe that male

Verb problem

are more

show examples

ambitious than female. I disagree with

this

viewpoint; and in my opinion, both are at par, and the upcoming paragraphs will explain the reasons with relevant examples.

Firstly

, it has been proven that they can perform any job as labour to the Nation's president. They lead the armed

force

Fix the agreement mistake

forces

show examples

and multinational companies productively. In a patriarchal society, these roles were considered only suitable for men. Currently, the situation

Verb problem

has

show examples

changed, and the community accepted that these jobs could be performed by

women

as well.

For example

, The US has come out

from

Change preposition

show examples

the glass ceiling, and Mrs Kamala Harris has been selected as the first lady vice president in the country.

Moreover

, they can

accomplish

Verb problem

apply

show examples

multitask,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is only the exceptional capacity of

women

Secondly

, at school, girls outperform boys. If they were not competitive, they would not be able to achieve

this

victory. In competitive exams

also

performed as

good

Change the word

well

show examples

as their counterparts. In the past professional courses like mechanical engineering

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

limited only

for

Change preposition

show examples

boys. But, now girls

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

their ability in that area.

On the contrary

, even though they can perform equally well,

women

are still the primary caregivers in the families and

required

Add a missing verb

are required

show examples

to interrupt or sacrifice

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their careers for their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. In conclusion, after analysing all aspects of the given situation, it is not hard to see that

women

are just as capable and competent as men. If there are fewer female achievers,

that is

because

women

tend to sacrifice their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

for the sake of their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Submitted by jainajk on Sun Nov 29 2020

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the essay prompt and clearly presents a well-structured argument.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more detailed and engaging. Work on establishing stronger connections between ideas within and between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both attitudes and give your own opinion.

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In the modern age, some people think it is unnecessary to teach children the skill of handwriting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinio.

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