All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. To what extent do you agree?

New families face a lot of difficulties along the way. There are discussions about whether all fathers should take
time-off
Correct your spelling
time off
show examples
from work or just in some special occasions. I tend to believe that paternity
time
-off is as important as maternity. In the following essay, I will be explaining my point of view.
First
of all, postpartum can be really challenging for new parents. It is a hard
time
both physically and emotionally,
therefore
is essential for them to take a
time
to process all
this
wave of new information. A recent study has compared the postpartum effects. In one hand, there were the young families which the fathers could be at home in the
first
month. In the other hand, there were the families which the fathers could not miss any day of work. The results showed that the levels of baby blues and postpartum depression on
Correct your spelling
women
women's
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
were incredible higher on the absent father's group.
Additionally
, it is really important for a young baby to have close contact with her
both
Remove the determiner
apply
show examples
parents. The benefits of the bond created on the
first
phase of the aby's life will have echo effects during his whole life. A data recently released, explained that those fathers who had more
time
with their newborn, developed a stronger relationship with them.
In addition
, they were able to perform several tasks, like skin-to-skin contact, changing diapers, putting the baby to sleep that easy up a bit the load on the mother's shoulders. To conclude, as I explained above having a
time
away from work after a newborn child arrives at home, promotes great benefits for all parts involved.
Submitted by melissamartins94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: