People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Parallel with advances in technology,
people’s
shopping patterns have changed dramatically. Some people claim that individuals’ age has the most significant impact on their shopping tendency. From my perspective, Use synonyms
however
, there are many other key factors that influence Linking Words
people’s
shopping Use synonyms
decisions
.
One primary reason is gender. Females and males have totally different tendencies in purchasing goods. Women are willing to spend money on clothes and other things for dressing up. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, men tend to purchase goods that are useful Linking Words
instead
of luxury products. Take adults in Taiwan as an instance; Females in Linking Words
this
country spend most of their money on buying computers and other gadgets that can be used on a daily basis. Linking Words
However
, Taiwanese girls spend their salary on purchasing make-up and clothes. Linking Words
As a result
, sex has a profound impact on individuals’ Linking Words
decisions
on shopping.
Use synonyms
In addition
to gender, fellows Linking Words
also
have a notable influence on Linking Words
people’s
buying habits. Empirical studies have provided considerable evidence that individuals are easily changed by people around them. The closer they are, the easier they can be affected. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, friends might be a significant factor in Linking Words
people’s
shopping tendencies. Use synonyms
For example
, in order to integrate into their friend zones, youngsters tend to buy the same goods, Linking Words
such
as clothes or smartphones. Linking Words
Therefore
, friends can Linking Words
also
affect Linking Words
people’s
shopping Use synonyms
decisions
.
By way of conclusion, I firmly disagree that the most impactful factor in Use synonyms
people’s
shopping habits is age. Not only does gender have an impact on individuals’ buying tendencies, but Use synonyms
people’s
fellows can Use synonyms
also
influence their Linking Words
decisions
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position against the statement and supports it with relevant reasons. However, it would benefit from a more detailed analysis of how age does impact shopping habits to create a balanced argument.
task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are consistent with the argument. The example given about adults in Taiwan seems to confuse general trends between males and females with specific national trends, which weakens the argument slightly.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly. For example, transitional phrases could help in guiding the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state and summarize the main argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points supporting the argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, making the argument more convincing.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, showing a good understanding of the topic at hand.