IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skill
Few people believe that the entire education system focuses on teaching facts and figures rather than imparting practical
knowledge
. I completely disagree with
this
 view because various
courses
 require
students
 to undertake projects and internships thereby giving them
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable insights and requisite skill
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
show examples
. Most of the
courses
 make it obligatory for the
students
 to submit their project which includes ample research and market surveys.
Although
 it includes various facts and figures, it
also
 involves multiple site visits and interviews of the market leaders
having
Wrong verb form
who have
show examples
 relevant experience.
For example
,
while
 preparing on the topic of economics, it would be advisable to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inputs from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 economist who can give valuable insights apart from bookish
knowledge
.
Thus
, undertaking various methods to collect the information for the assigned project can help the student to gain experience.
Further
, certain
courses
 make it a compulsion to undertake short internships with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reputed firms. Working at
such
 places would not only help the
students
 to utilize their
knowledge
 but
also
 help them to make
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appropriate
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
For example
, one month’s internship at the hospital would offer the medical
students
 an opportunity to apply their learnings and rectify their mistakes.
Therefore
, the internship aspect of the course prepares the
students
 for the real-life scenario.
To conclude
, certain individuals do think that the education system
focusses
Correct your spelling
focuses
show examples
 more on bookish
knowledge
 rather than practical experience.
However
, I strongly disagree with it since many
courses
 from primary to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary education include projects and internships which helps the student to gain valuable insights and real-life skill.
Submitted by aizazdosani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure to fully address the topic question by presenting a balanced view and considering opposing perspectives in order to provide a more comprehensive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are logically structured and that ideas are linked cohesively throughout the essay. Use appropriate transition words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more advanced and varied lexical resources to enhance the depth and precision of the arguments presented.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to more complex grammatical structures, using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring accuracy in sentence construction.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education system
  • curriculum
  • factual knowledge
  • practical skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem solving
  • academic achievement
  • real-world application
  • balance
  • integration
  • learning outcomes
  • employment opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: