Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members how to be good members of society. Others, however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is sometimes
arguing
that Wrong verb form
argued
children
should be taught to become a real member of civilization. While
a great number of people insist whether
these are the permanent Correct word choice
that
obligation
of Fix the agreement mistake
obligations
schools
or parents
, I think that both have their unique impact on children
's nurturing.
To begin
with, it is true that children
are the main expressions of their parents
. Since the child was born, the parents
have received enormous duties, which enforce
them to provide the child with any suitable condition for its Verb problem
force
overall
development. Subsequently
, the children
's upbringing wholly depends on parents
. Moreover
, it is also
important that parents
do everything to help their children
to integrate into society
properly, without any suspects
that Replace the word
suspicion
children
can neglect the imposed rules of the community. Youngsters, in fact, are more likely to be involved in the crime committed and abolish the family reputation in society
because of the absence of parental monitoring in their lives. Thus
, the
adults need to Correct article usage
apply
preserve
their Verb problem
protect
children
from unhealthy
influence of some external powers in order to guarantee the safety of both Correct article usage
the unhealthy
children
and modern
community.
Correct article usage
the modern
On the other hand
, schools
are also
responsible for children
's growth as a
productive Correct article usage
apply
member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
society
. It may seem that the
education is the prime goal that Correct article usage
apply
schools
and other institutions pursue, but the reality is that they are able to provide schoolchildren and students with practical skills essential for being the
part of our modern community. Sociology, Correct article usage
a
for instance
, is one of the compulsory subjects, which children
need to investigate during their studies at school or even college. The main principle of this
subject is to clarify the abstract meanings of some elements and rules of society
. It is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
present
the way in which our Correct subject-verb agreement
presents
society
was
evolved and even how the values and customs of our ancestors were changed Unnecessary verb
apply
during
decades. Change preposition
over
Nevertheless
, the
sociology has Correct article usage
apply
to
become an indispensable aspect of the educational system.
Fix the infinitive
apply
To conclude
, Although
the parents
and schools
have different roles to play on
Change preposition
in
children
's lives, I hope that they will be no less pivotal in the future.Submitted by Saten on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Ensure your essay has clear topic sentences for every paragraph. They help the reader follow your line of thought with ease.
Language
Avoid repetitive sentences or phrases. For example, 'how to be good members how to be good members of society'. It disrupts the flow of your essay.
Language
Be mindful of your vocabulary choice. Some words like 'arguing' should have been 'argued' in your context. Proper usage enhances clarity.
Language
Correct inappropriate usage of words. For example, 'it is also present' should be replaced with 'it also presents'.
Language
Ensure to use determiners correctly, for example, 'the sociology' should be 'sociology'.
Content
Make sure every sentence adds value to your argument. 'I hope that they will be no less pivotal in the future.' doesn't add much to your essay.