The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance tech which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advance #tech

In the present world, high technology plays an essential role to build a prosperity and harmony society. Some people believe that advanced machinery can help the community to reduce the crime rate, whereas some set of people disagree. Personally, I think

this

advancement can contribute to building a safer society.

Firstly

, in term of prevention, high tech can server a monitor function to regulate citizens behaviour. Recently, there are many powerful digital measures,

for example

, face detection, big data tracking and high-resolution CCTV, help in the investigation. With the higher chance of criminal failure, people tend to self-regulate their misbehaviours and stop the immoral action. Those innovated measures act as a deterrent effect, and

thus

the misconduct amount can gradually be decreased.

Secondly

, in term of lowering the crime amount, new measurements can be invented to fix the current criminal loopholes. Having the updated automation, many new developments

such

as fingerprint login for e-banking, SMS reminder for money transfer records, can reduce the occurrence of the violation, especially in banking, which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a huge

benefits

Correct the article-noun agreement

benefit

show examples

to citizens. If the citizens do not use these ‎machinery methods to safeguard their action, they are likely to face any crisis.

Thus

, it is useful and necessary for online methods to get involved in daily activities to protect people's right. In conclusion, considering the above-discussed points,

this

is evident that high automation keeps improving people quality, especially in minimizing community misdeed quota. Unless

this

advancement disappears, it is likely that

this

issue can be prevented and solve gradually.

Submitted by c.cyinsin on Sat Dec 05 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance tech which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You need to take some time off of work to go on holiday. Write a letter to your direct manager. Ask for time off and explain why. Provide the dates and times for which you will be unavailable to work. Describe what you will do to prepare or make up for your absence.