IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art represents the culture and rich heritage of a nation and its people.
However
Linking Words
, in certain demographics of society people claim that the administration must stop investing in the artwork and allocate those funds to other public services. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and believe that art is as important as any other sector like healthcare and transportation. Health and other public sectors like transportation have always attained priority while allocating funds and
this
Linking Words
 is justifiable as people think that national well-being is of utmost important than art. Lack of accessible medical treatment and transportation is the core reason for rising in the mortality rate.
For instance
Linking Words
, due to unavailability of sufficient doctors and ambulance facilities in rural areas had resulted in more pregnant women deaths. These few instances have risen up the thoughts that the government must stop spending money on arts and invest in critical areas.
Although
Linking Words
 investments in
such
Linking Words
 areas are vital, the idea that spending on arts must be curbed is completely preposterous. While segregating public funds artwork must be given equal importance. Rich heritage like ancient architecture and articulates attracts tourism from all over the world, which brings pride and improves the financial status of the country. To exemplify, people from outside the country come to see the historical building and feels encouraged to visit again and again. Government funding will
also
Linking Words
 help artists to represent their artworks on the global platform and bring respect to their nation. To conclude, people view of considering investments on art as wastage must not be supported. In my opinion, the government should plan funds distribution equally to all sectors so that every area can flourish and contribute maximum to the development of a nation
Submitted by Shilpa Suri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: