In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Individuals move away from their close relationships for the sake of work and to get more opportunities. Many

people

Use synonyms

argue, that they migrate to achieve the objectives of life.

On the other hand

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people

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think that they should stay with their family. In my view, the drawbacks of

this

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development are more than its benefits and I will provide relevant arguments related to my claim in the given paragraphs. To commence with the advantages,

people

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think that when they migrate from one place to another there will be so many opportunities waiting for them. They have a firm belief in their abilities they perform their tasks.

For instance

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, I have seen a lot of

people

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who have the potential to work hard but the

people

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around them are not supportive and their friends or

families

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always try to degrade them.

However

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, when they get out of

this

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zone they make new friends and they live in an environment which is good for their future.

Thus

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, they work hard

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they get more belief in themselves and they become more confident.

On the other hand

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, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. When a person migrates from his home there are so many problems waiting for him. The problems related to health and education. At home, they get a diet with healthy ingredients.

Furthermore

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, if they face problems related to their studies, they have the emotional support of their

families

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For example

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, when

people

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live far away from their

families

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they have to cook for themselves. So, they waste a lot of their time cooking and they don't get the desired results.

To sum up

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, in my point of view the drawbacks are more than the benefits and I believe that

people

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should live with their

families

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and they should achieve success with their

families

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and friends because the presence of their

families

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will always provide them confidence.

mifzalrizwan2

Aug 25, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task and provides a balanced analysis of both advantages and disadvantages of migrating for work. However, you could strengthen your arguments by including more specific examples and expanding on them in greater detail.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are generally clear and the essay follows a logical structure. Nevertheless, you can improve coherence and cohesion by using more varied and precise linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarises the main point you will discuss. This will help your reader follow your argument better and will enhance the flow of your essay.

introduction

Your introduction is clear and presents the topic effectively, outlining both sides of the argument.

examples

You have provided some relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarises your main points and clearly states your stance on the issue.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However nowadays, this information can be found through internet, therefore is no need for museum. What do you extent agree/disagree?

You need to take a leave from work. Write a letter to your manager asking for leave. In your letter: - Explain why you need the leave. - State how long you will be away. - Assure that your work will be covered in your absence.