IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government investments in the art, such as music and theatre are a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and examples.

#government #investments #art #music #theatre #waste #money #services
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The
government
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 is responsible for
c
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the
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omprehensive
development
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 of the
country
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, be it
art
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 or public services. I believe along with investments in the public services, the
government
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 must
also
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 invest in
art
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 because it is vital for a
country
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 to acknowledge and promote its
art
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 & craft as it not only contribute in upholding its cultural value but it can aid in economic
development
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 as well. Undoubtedly,
p
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the
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rovision of better public services is vital for any
country
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’s
development
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. The investments by the
government
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 in providing better transportation system, sanitation facilities etc. can aid in uplifting the overall quality of life of its citizens.
Although
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, investing in music, theatre, dance etc. by giving better opportunities to its artists in terms of loan, education and health care can
also
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 contribute in building a strong
industry
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 which will eventually contribute to
country
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’s overall economic as well as cultural growth.
Additionally
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,
art
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 takes up a significant place in
o
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the
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verall quality of life of the people. Provision of public services must be the foremost responsibility of the
government
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however
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, it is not the only responsibility. The
government
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 must make efforts towards promoting new avenues for its people.
A strong
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Strong
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 entertainment
industry
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 in a
country
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 will play a vital role in
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c
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the
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ountry’s economic as well as cultural
development
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.
For instance
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, Bollywood of India is a very rich and influential
industry
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 of the
country
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. If the
government
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 aims for comprehensive
development
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 of its
country
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,
then
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 investing in
art
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 is as much important as spending money in public services. The investments in promoting
art
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 can result in one of the highest
revenue generating
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revenue-generating
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industry
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 in the
country
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,
this
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 will help in generating more jobs which only means a good investment.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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