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Band 2.5

Advantages and disadvantages of living in dormitory on university campus

#dormitory #university #campus
New
students
are often ponder
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often ponder
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 on choosing a place to stay.
However
,
i
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I
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 believe that living in
dormitory
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a dormitory
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 on
university
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a university
the university
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campus
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 is
good
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a good
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 option.
Although
 living
dormitory
 on
university
Correct article usage
a university
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campus
 brings some benefits,
it
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its
show examples
 drawbacks are more significant. Living in
dormitory
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a dormitory
the dormitory
show examples
 in three main aspects.First of all,
afer
Correct your spelling
after
 entering college, year 1
students
many
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may
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 feel
worry
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worried
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 about
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 new college life.Finding new friends is one of the best ways to adapt to life in a new environment.And from there,we have more friends and new
relationship
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relationships
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,
also
 a good opportunity to improve communication skills.Second,it
to
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is to
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 learn
independent
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independence
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 and manage without
with
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apply
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parents.Doing everything by yourself and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care
about
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of
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 yourself.
However
,you will not be alone, at least
yours
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your
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roomates
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roommates
 will help you when you need it,when you
sick
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are sick
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 or in an emergency.
Finally
 ,living in
dormitory
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a dormitory
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in
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on
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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campus
 would
students
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
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 time
on study
Wrong verb form
studying
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.Because,
campus
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the campus
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 would be
convenient
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a convenient
the convenient
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: library, equipment for learning
..
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.
...
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If
you
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you are
you were
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 not clear on the lecture,you
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can ask
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
show examples
 or other
students
 in the
dormitory
Besides
,living in
dormitory
Correct article usage
a dormitory
show examples
also
disadvantages
Add a missing verb
has disadvantages
show examples
.Because of the collective activity
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise and confusion
is
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are
show examples
 unavoidable .Not everyone has the same schedule of activities,so there will be
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 when you feel annoyed and want to be alone.
Not to mention
 the time to focus , especially during exam season. In conclusion,living in
dormitory
Add an article
a dormitory
show examples
 on
university
Correct article usage
a university
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campus
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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students
 good training to
standing
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stand
show examples
 on
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own feet in the future
Submitted by Andy on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, making it difficult to follow the arguments. Introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. The main points are not well developed and lack proper support.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the topic, but it lacks depth and development. The arguments need to be clearer and more detailed. Expand on the advantages and disadvantages of living in a dormitory on a university campus with specific examples and a balanced discussion of both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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