IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?

#people #career #life #time #situation
Every individual in his/her life has experienced a dilemma of prioritising work-related commitments above personal commitments which often leads to problems which eventually affect their professional life. In the below paragraphs, I will try to highlight different issues faced and solutions which can be implemented to avoid those problems. Building a successful career requires a lot of commitment for an individual which leads to situations where less space is available for his/her own family. These situations often lead to circumstances where you are not a part of significant milestones or events of your family members like graduation day, birthdays, weddings, funerals, etc. It
also
 means less involvement in important family decisions or decisions for his/her own children like opinions on your son's career path. The overall effect leads to weaker relationships, the rectification of which takes time and efforts more than ever imagined. The overall problem could be minimized, if not eliminated, by spending more time with family.
This
 can be done by following a strict cut-off time from work.
Further
, individuals can leave early or apply for leave after a hectic assignment. The same thing can be done for any events of your family members. It is
also
 recommended to go on vacation trips with your family once every two years. Occasionally work from home can say the day too! Work-related commitments are always prioritised higher by individuals which can lead to problems but given that the solutions are not a big ask, it is possible to strike a balance between work and family.
Submitted by aizazdosani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: