Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development

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In modern society, many countries'

cultures

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have become similar compared to

few

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a few

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decades ago. Most countries have their own traditional

cultures

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such

Linking Words

clothes

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, food and constructures.

However

Linking Words

, The Internet industry is rapidly

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

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and

this

Linking Words

reason

people

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can contact other

cultures

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easily

Correct quantifier usage

more easily

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than before.

In addition

Linking Words

, consequent of some

people

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think traditional

cultures

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are too old compared to the other

country

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's modern

cultures

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, modern

cultures

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are becoming similar. Some

people

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say

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has pros and cons. Yet, In my opinion, I believe there are more

drawback

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drawbacks

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sides.

Firstly

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, traditional culture is the

country

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's unique culture.

For instance

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, In Korea, there are traditional

clothes

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called 'HanBok'.

This

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is not only

clothes

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but

also

Linking Words

includes the

history

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of Korea. If the colour of

Hanbok

Correct article usage

the Hanbok

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is bright means the

people

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who wore the

clothes

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are included in the high royal family. It shows

Korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

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culture was hierarchies.

Likewise

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, many countries have their own

history

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in their traditional

cultures

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and all of

history

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is unique.

Additionally

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, I believe that traditional

cultures

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are including the

history

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of the

country

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. Unless

people

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do not want to preserve their own

cultures

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, that

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

people

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to forget

Change the verb form

forgetting

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their

history

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, a nation

which forgot

Wrong verb form

that has forgotten

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

history

Use synonyms

does not have a future. There is no doubt that

history

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is the

best

Correct your spelling

most

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significant in

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country

Correct article usage

a country

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Therefore

Linking Words

, traditional

cultures

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have to

kept

Add a missing verb

be kept

show examples

by the nation. In conclusion, modern

cultures

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around the world become similar compared to

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

decades ago. Some

people

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say there are positive and negative effects.

However

Linking Words

, In my opinion, traditional

cultures

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include various

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

about the

cultures

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Hence

Linking Words

, the nation has to preserve

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own

Use synonyms

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

Submitted by paraneunju on Tue Dec 08 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic and provide a clear response to the question.

Task Achievement

Enhance your task response by providing a more comprehensive and clear discussion of the reasons for the similarity of modern cultures and whether this is a positive or negative development. Use specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that government should spend their money on elderly people's care. However, other people say that government should focus more on education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority of the population. Do you agree?

In many countries, a lot of food is wasted. Why do people waste food? How can we reduce the amount of food waste?

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?