Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development

In modern society, many countries'

cultures

have become similar compared to

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

decades ago. Most countries have their own traditional

cultures

such

clothes

, food and constructures.

However

, The Internet industry is rapidly

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

and

this

reason

people

can contact other

cultures

easily

Correct quantifier usage

more easily

show examples

than before.

In addition

, consequent of some

people

think traditional

cultures

are too old compared to the other

country

's modern

cultures

, modern

cultures

are becoming similar. Some

people

say

this

phenomenon has pros and cons. Yet, In my opinion, I believe there are more

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

sides.

Firstly

, traditional culture is the

country

's unique culture.

For instance

, In Korea, there are traditional

clothes

called 'HanBok'.

This

is not only

clothes

but

also

includes the

history

of Korea. If the colour of

Hanbok

Correct article usage

the Hanbok

show examples

is bright means the

people

who wore the

clothes

are included in the high royal family. It shows

Korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

show examples

culture was hierarchies.

Likewise

, many countries have their own

history

in their traditional

cultures

and all of

history

is unique.

Additionally

, I believe that traditional

cultures

are including the

history

of the

country

. Unless

people

do not want to preserve their own

cultures

, that

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

people

to forget

Change the verb form

forgetting

show examples

their

history

Furthermore

, a nation

which forgot

Wrong verb form

that has forgotten

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

history

does not have a future. There is no doubt that

history

is the

best

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

significant in

country

Correct article usage

a country

show examples

Therefore

, traditional

cultures

have to

kept

Add a missing verb

be kept

show examples

by the nation. In conclusion, modern

cultures

around the world become similar compared to

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

decades ago. Some

people

say there are positive and negative effects.

However

, In my opinion, traditional

cultures

include various

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

about the

cultures

Hence

, the nation has to preserve

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

Submitted by paraneunju on Tue Dec 08 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic and provide a clear response to the question.

Task Achievement

Enhance your task response by providing a more comprehensive and clear discussion of the reasons for the similarity of modern cultures and whether this is a positive or negative development. Use specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive or negative development?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behavior? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people think that, robots will replace teachers in the class room. Do you agree or disagree?