IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

“Prevention is better than Cure”. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#“prevention #cure” #disease #measures
Taking precautionary measures is always better than curing a
disease
. It is rightly said that treatment and research is an expensive method to deal with any
disease
. I completely agree that we ought to look for ways to prevent the
disease
.
Firstly
, in my opinion,
although
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment of any economy tries to aware its citizens about how to prevent many chronic diseases, whereas citizens play a major role in the prevention of
such
 diseases.
For instance
, diabetes is one of the chronic
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
 which is incurable and administrations spend
l
Change the article
a
show examples
ot of money for providing availability of medicines to their citizens, which is costly itself.
Hence
, many campaigns are run to let people know about symptoms and
its
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 reasons. Due to these campaigns, people have started gaining knowledge and have started taking precautionary measures.
Secondly
, If we take the example of
r
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ecent scenario of COVID-19 pandemic, where administrations
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 are spending
l
Change the article
a
show examples
ot of money on research and development of its vaccination.
However
, till the time vaccination would be available, contaminations from the
disease
 may increase.
Therefore
, governments request their citizens to follow the precautionary practices, which is indeed required as per the requirement.
Lastly
, there are many other ways that can be followed, so that one may not have to reach the stage of curative steps. One of them is following
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
healthy practices.
For example
, doing regular exercise like yoga, eating healthy food are the basic precautionary steps to keep the diseases away. To recapitulate, a whole process is required to be followed for inventing medicines for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
disease
.
Therefore
, in my opinion, every individual should follow and
also
 aware others about the practices as mentioned above to keep themselves and others fit and fine.
Submitted by jtymhr28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: