The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Obesity detrimentally affects the

health

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of people and put the burden on the

health

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care system. Some people opine that

education

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school

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can alleviate the situation whilst others have contrast viewpoint.

Although

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eating habits can be improved at home, I believe the introduction of physical studies in

school

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syllabus is the best solution.

Firstly

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, students will run and play physical games while studying

this

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subject.

This

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will eventually help them to maintain their weight. If they regularly attend their classes, they will be physically active. Staying active accustom to be less prone to obesity.

For example

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, children who play sports in

school

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are fit and healthy. Physical

education

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as a subject will provide a fixed time for children to work on their bodies.

Hence

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, these classes gradually lead to a healthy nation.

Secondly

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health

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problems are caused by unhealthy diets. Lessons on physical

education

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guide students on a balanced diet which is a vital element. Eating habits affect enormously

health

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of people. If

this

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is changed, fewer people will be overweight.

For example

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, those who consume more than the required calories are fat. A proper proportion of carbohydrate and protein in daily consumption is necessary for better

health

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This

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knowledge can be gained from lessons at

school

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Therefore

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, physical

education

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as a subject will aware people about proper diets. In conclusion, physical

education

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as part of

school

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curriculum will help students to stay active and healthy. In my perspective,

this

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approach should be adapted to combat the burgeoning obesity issues in the world.

Submitted by Priya on Thu Dec 10 2020

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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