In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
There has been a long debate about the long-term impact of the increased ageing population. From my point of view, the negative
effect
of this
trend exceeds its positive effect
.
It is undeniable that elderly people
are possessed with a richer experience that benefits in the workplace, which should be taken into consideration. To be specific, in the organisation, a person with superb interpersonal skills and overall
perspective could provide the company with development goals. However
, the improving effect
on the work efficiency of experienced employees can’t expand to physical workplaces, which require body strength and physical flexibility. Thus
, the benefit of aged people
is a limited effect
because of the restriction of body condition.
Strongly I believe, on the flip side, the potential crisis brought by the growing ageing population challenges governments. For one thing, elderly people
who have less resistance to infections and other diseases produce extreme pressure on the health system, especially during the pandemic. Frequent aliment requires a constant supply of trained doctors and medical resources. For the other, as age grows, people
will ultimately lose the ability to work to satisfy their own basic needs. Therefore
, it is the government’s duty to allocate money and other resources to ensure their lives, which creates long-lasting for them.
In conclusion, considering the prolonged negative effect
of more elderly people
on the medical system and financial allocation and its minor improvements. I would once reaffirm my point of view, that this
trend’s drawbacks are of higher significance than its benefits.Submitted by liu486929 on
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Structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This helps strengthen your argument and makes it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Grammar
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and flexibility. Avoid over-reliance on simpler sentences to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express nuanced opinions and ideas. This helps convey your message more precisely and engagingly.
Accuracy
Be mindful of the accuracy and appropriateness of word choice to prevent misunderstandings and boost the clarity of your arguments.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in presenting your arguments logically.
Supporting Details
The use of specific examples to support your points helps to make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.