IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

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The usage of private
transportation
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, especially
cars
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, has been happening for the past decades and seemingly will keep on occurring for more decades to come. There are various sets of problems that are caused by
this
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 occurrence,
such
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 as
traffic
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 congestion and environmental issues. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about the disadvantage of the increasing trend of
car
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 possessions which caused
traffic
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 issues and what path the governments should take to solve
this
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 problem. First of all, people used to not prefer having
cars
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 because they were expensive and impractical, which is why public
transportation
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 was preferable back
then
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.
Hence
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, there was less crowded
traffic
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 compared to the present day. Other than that, modern society does not see the appeal of using public
transportation
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 because of various reasons that
i
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I
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 will talk about in the next paragraph, which boost the ownership of
cars
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. The rising trend of owning a
car
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 can only mean one thing, which is the unmet need of society to travel with ease using public
transportation
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 and facilities. Things like un-walkable roadsides, limited bus routes, or expensive train tickets can be the culprit of
this
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 phenomenon. The government should take a step forward to stop
this
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 catastrophe by ensuring the quality of the city’s public
transportation
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instead
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 of making more roads. In conclusion,
car
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 ownership is a big problem in the modern era as it causes a lot of issues like
traffic
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 jams, which is why the government needs to step in to upgrade the public means of
transportation
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 the society can choose
instead
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 of having privately owned
cars
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.
Furthermore
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, the high taxation for
car
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 users might be another solution to lower the trends of having
cars
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.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates moderate organizational structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Ensure that each idea or argument naturally flows from the one preceding it. Pay attention to linking words and phrases to help the reader follow the line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could display greater certainty and clarity. Aim for a more direct articulation of your main argument in the introduction, and reiterate key points more assertively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported but require further development. Be more specific when presenting arguments. Rather than general statements, include detailed examples, evidence, and explanations to reinforce your points.
task achievement
The response to the task is adequate, but you should strive for more depth. Make your ideas comprehensive and complete by thoroughly addressing all parts of the prompt. Discuss both aspects of the question equally and consider elaborating further on your views.
task achievement
While your ideas are relevant, they lack specificity. Incorporate more precise examples and detailed considerations to explain the points you make. The inclusion of pertinent examples will significantly strengthen your arguments and task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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