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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life #cooporate
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In the current time,
competition
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 in many aspects of life has become experienced by people.
However
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, some of them believe that competing in many different settings of life, including at work, school, and in daily life can be beneficial, even though others think that cooperation should be encouraged.
Nonetheless
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, I would say that I agree with the latter opinion is far superior for some reasons which are set out below. People view that
competition
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 can push them to work harder to beat others.
Therefore
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, it is common for individuals to be the best performers in many aspects of their lives.
For instance
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, workers will consider different strategies to accomplish the company's goals and gain a reward because they want to have a better outcome in their careers, including increasing salaries and obtaining higher positions.
Moreover
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, having
competition
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 will
also
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 encourage them to have better responsibilities and a working ethic to manage their work.
However
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, some people have different views by emphasizing that. cooperating will bring them to a better achievement and outcome.
For instance
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, in a company project, they can divide the tasks among the member of the team
according to
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 their responsibilities, expertise, and talent to execute any details of the project.
Consequently
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, the result will be more outstanding because by having good teamwork and communication, there are no obstacles that can hinder their progress with less effort in their career. In conclusion, despite the benefit that
competition
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 may have, I believe that a sense of cooperation will give more reliable results for everyone in their aspects of their lives as they can achieve what they want and get the reward together.
Submitted by emadheydarnia on

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coherence cohesion
Try to strengthen the logical structure of your essay. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that your arguments are clearly connected.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your main points more thoroughly by providing specific examples and explanations.
task achievement
Clarify some of your ideas to make them more comprehensive and address opposing views with greater depth.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay and presents your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a balanced discussion of both views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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