IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and the ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #technology #skills #life
Some people believe that due to new inventions, nations are gradually phasing out their ancient skills and lifestyles and it would be meaningless to preserve them.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
 opinion since the culture and values are
i
Add an article
an
show examples
ntegral part of human nature which would remain with them forever.
Further
,
m
Change the article
the
show examples
ain objective is to develop the existing skills. Modern innovation cannot change the culture and lifestyle of the people.
Although
, they would make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good use of the technological
developements
Correct your spelling
developments
development
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they would remain grounded to their lifestyles.
For example
, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
various technological development, businessmen prefer keeping their daily accounts in physical form.
Thus
,
such
 values and lifestyle would always give them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
comfort to operate and remind them about their identity.
Further
, technical upgrades would enable individuals to scale up their existing skills but it is never intended that person should give up on their existing ones.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
 purpose of
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 is to make the work easier by learning new techniques.
For instance
, calculators have been one of the best inventions of
r
Add an article
the
show examples
ecent period and it aims at quick and
error free
Add a hyphen
error-free
show examples
 calculation. It never stops
p
Add an article
a
the
show examples
erson from performing oral calculations.
Thus
, the main objective of technological innovation is to facilitate the existing skills rather than putting them down. To conclude, modern innovations created by various nations are bringing out new skill sets and lifestyles.
However
, in my opinion,
m
Change the article
the
show examples
ain purpose of it is to enhance the existing values, cultures and lifestyles rather than putting them away.
Submitted by aizazdosani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Efficiency
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural identity
  • Diversity
  • Innovation
  • Coexist
  • Sustainable
  • Eco-friendly
  • Energy-intensive
  • Practical skills
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Homogenize
  • Preservation
  • Global diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: