IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 world are learning other
languages
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 their mother tongue. Some citizens believe the aim of studying a foreign language is only for working and travelling in a foreign country,
while
Linking Words
 others these are not the only cause. I think there are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are learning new
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explore both points of view and summarize the conclusion. On the one hand, many benefits that
people
Use synonyms
 receive by learning another language.
For example
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, a citizen from Indonesia wants to understand Japanese culture, before starting to explore the culture they will learn about Japanese first to ensure the meaning of every story.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can interact with
people
Use synonyms
 from Japan to gain deeper knowledge about the culture.
Thus
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, justifying the cause of why
people
Use synonyms
 study foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 really disturbs
people
Use synonyms
 overcome their limits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some citizen limits their knowledge about studying
languages
Use synonyms
 for working or travelling. Most of them have opinions like that because it is the bare minimum of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to visit or apply for jobs in other countries.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Australia, if someone wants to apply for a work holiday visa, they should have an IELTS result before applying.
This
Linking Words
 is one of evidence why there are limitations on why
people
Use synonyms
 learn English, but actually, certifications like IELTS can be used for
another occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
other occasions
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not judge their perspective on the first attempt, maybe there are other backgrounds why
people
Use synonyms
 go into other
languages
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both of those perspectives are true, but I undoubtedly consider that
people
Use synonyms
 have enormous motives they acquiring other
languages
Use synonyms
. Limitations only lock our potential for seizing opportunities out there.

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. For example, explicitly stating the topic of each point at the beginning of the paragraphs might help.
coherence cohesion
It can be helpful to ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points made in the body and directly refers to the ideas discussed, reinforcing your viewpoint clearly.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, try to provide more specific personal examples or evidence that strengthens your argument, making it more relatable and comprehensive.
task achievement
Be sure to explore both views in equal depth and detail, ensuring a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents both perspectives, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
There is a good effort to give specific examples to support your points.
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