Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, those crimes committed by teenagers, especially under 16 years old children, have occupied a growing proportion of crime. Education as a major
punishment
of juvenile delinquency has gradually lost its deterrent force. So whether we should punish young criminals with severity is now discussed by an increasing number of people. Personally, I do strongly disagree with
this
opinion.
First
of all, a majority of juvenile delinquency can be attributable to the rising divorce rate and family violence. In
such
families, children are usually not properly taken care of, and to make things worse, their psychology may probably be distorted. At
this
time, any other punishments except education,
such
as put into prison, physical
punishment
and so on have a detrimental effect on their development, because teenagers are immature so that prone to social ills and even hardly distinguish between virtue and evil, education can improve their discrimination and enable them to understand how they are expected to behave in society. If we only put young people into prison-like punishing adults, their weak sprit will be damaged a
second
time and even worse, their behaviour becomes out of control. In the
second
place, nowadays, many programs are full of crime, violence pornography and bloody contents, they are often glorified and polished to attract youngsters’ eyes and to be conveniently imitated. Watching too many these programs, children may become isolated, violent and aggressive.
Thus
, we should strictly control the contents of programs rather than increasing penalties on young criminals. Teenagers are innocent, if TV programs cannot remove these unhealthy pictures, even though teenagers have acceptance of
punishment
, they will step into the wrong way one after another. To draw a conclusion, education has a profound long-term effect which can remain lifelong, whereas the effect of
punishment
is temporary and the more the worse.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation to become dedicated not criminal members of that society.
Submitted by ricieri2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: