IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays, online shopping has become more popular while some people argue in-store shopping would be better.    To what extent do you agree?

#people
In
this
 world of technology, many physical activities are transformed into online activities. Online shopping has become one of the most popular activities people enjoy doing.
However
,
although
 some people argue that it is better, some opine that it isn't excessive enough compared to store shopping. I totally disagree that to actually go shopping is better.
This
 essay will state the reasons behind that.
First
 of all, shopping online is the best way to save money as most of the
time
 prices are cheaper.
For instance
, buying an imported water bottle on a platform like Lazada or Amazon isn't as expensive as buying in an actual store as most of the
time
 shops order things online and charge more in order to earn their profit.
Furthermore
,
this
 is one of the best ways to help people use their
time
 effectively. Buying things on the internet can help people avoid many
time
-wasting problems they can possibly meet in their daily life
such
 as traffic or long purchase queues. According to recently published research, people spend 40% of their
time
 interfering with
such
 problems which leads them to not having enough
time
 for their remits.
As a result
, they go to bed late and
consequently
 face malaises like chronic fatigue during the day. To sum up, whilst people may argue that actually buying things in the store is more preferable, many agree that online shopping is a better alternative as it encourages people to have better life quality like having more
time
 and money.
Submitted by nutthanit39032 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: