Some people think that sports teach children how to compete, while other believe that learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #children #teamwork

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Although

It is maintained that

children

could learn

competition

ethics from

sports

, others think that

sports

help them improve their teamwork skills. In my opinion, I believe

sports

will give the opportunity to teach

children

how to have a fair

competition

. On the one hand,

according to

some, challenges

such

as tournaments will introduce the ethics and rights of

competition

, and I agree.

In other words

, having rules for every

competition

will make sure that the

children

will learn how to be responsible for their actions and decisions. If,

for example

, during a football

competition

one of the players cheated, they will be expelled from the game.

Thus

, they won’t only learn that they have to stick to the rules, but

also

they will learn that there isn’t any bad behaviour without consequence and punishment.

On the other hand

, others believe that

sports

activities will scale up their teamwork skills. Specifically, in group

sports

, namely football or basketball where they need to collaborate with each other to succeed and the game.

For instance

, a basketball team could put a plan ahead of how they will play during the game and divide the roles between each other in a way that benefits the entire team. In addition, they will learn how to put themselves into each other’s point of view to make sure that will come up with the best results for all members.

To sum up

while

people may vary in their opinions, I’m confident that

sports

is one of the best ways to make sure that

children

know how to compete fairly.

Submitted by s_syedy on Sat Mar 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear structure with a noticeable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in maintaining logical flow. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transition phrases more and ensuring paragraphs connect seamlessly.

task achievement

You've discussed both views and provided examples, which contributes positively to your task achievement score. However, to enhance clarity and develop your ideas further, try to expand your explanations with more detailed examples and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

general

To enhance your score further, work on refining your sentence structure and employing a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly. Additionally, pay attention to minor grammatical errors that can detract from the overall quality of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some people think that sports teach children how to compete, while other believe that learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits in society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages?

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

Remote work has drastically improved productivity. This boost in productivity is attributed to the improved work-life balance that becomes more attainable when working from home. To what extent do you agree?