It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents . Do you agree or disagree ?
College
is an important part of any student's life
. Often this
Correct determiner usage
these
college
students
have to live in a hostel
till the
graduationCorrect article usage
apply
is completed
, away from home and Verb problem
apply
parents
. I agree that pupils must consider living in school rather than at home. Correct pronoun usage
their parents
Because
Correct word choice
Hostel
hostel
life
teaches some bitter life
lessons which one cannot even experience in the
homely environment.
Correct article usage
a
Firstly
, the students
are mostly teenagers when they enter into
Change preposition
apply
college
and at this
crucial age
they Add a comma
age,
also
require
to learn practical things Wrong verb form
required
along with
theoretical
. Correct pronoun usage
theoretical ones
For instance
, students
have to manage everything from clothing to some
luxuries from a fixed income. Correct quantifier usage
apply
This
management of expenses is the first and important
lesson that they will learn.
Correct quantifier usage
most important
Secondly
, college goings
Correct your spelling
college-going
kids
living with parents
are often made fun of which eventually impact
their social Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
life
negatively. Many kids
who happen to live with their parents
often experience a hard time to mingle
with other Change the verb form
mingling
kids
in the university. For example
, kids
who live with their parents
become more introvert
and shy which Replace the word
introverted
cause
serious problems in later Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
life
. Therefore
, living in a hostel
is not only challenging but can also
teach them some bitter but important life
lessons.
To summarize, it is very important for a student to experience hostel
life
as it teaches them practical things which is
difficult to learn from classrooms. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Consequently
, many colleges around the world have one-year
mandatory policy for Add an article
a one-year
students
who have to stay in school for at least a year. This
policy intervention will help many students
to learn practical things along with
theoretical knowledge.Submitted by rrjoshi1993 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Also, ensure that all examples are relevant to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, but try to use clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.