IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents . Do you agree or disagree ?

#college #students #schools #home #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
College
Use synonyms
 is an important part of any student's
life
Use synonyms
. Often
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 have to live in a
hostel
Use synonyms
 till
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation
is completed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, away from home and
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
. I agree that pupils must consider living in school rather than at home.
Because
Correct word choice
Hostel
show examples
hostel
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 teaches some bitter
life
Use synonyms
 lessons which one cannot even experience in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 homely environment.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 are mostly teenagers when they enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
college
Use synonyms
 and at
this
Linking Words
 crucial
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 to learn practical things
along with
Linking Words
theoretical
Correct pronoun usage
theoretical ones
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have to manage everything from clothing to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
luxuries from a fixed income.
This
Linking Words
 management of expenses is the first and
important
Correct quantifier usage
most important
show examples
 lesson that they will learn.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
college goings
Correct your spelling
college-going
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 living with
parents
Use synonyms
 are often made fun of which eventually
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
 their social
life
Use synonyms
 negatively. Many
kids
Use synonyms
 who happen to live with their
parents
Use synonyms
 often experience a hard time
to mingle
Change the verb form
mingling
show examples
 with other
kids
Use synonyms
 in the university.
For example
Linking Words
,
kids
Use synonyms
 who live with their
parents
Use synonyms
 become more
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 and shy which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 serious problems in later
life
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living in a
hostel
Use synonyms
 is not only challenging but can
also
Linking Words
 teach them some bitter but important
life
Use synonyms
 lessons. To summarize, it is very important for a student to experience
hostel
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 as it teaches them practical things which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 difficult to learn from classrooms.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many colleges around the world have
one-year
Add an article
a one-year
show examples
 mandatory policy for
students
Use synonyms
 who have to stay in school for at least a year.
This
Linking Words
 policy intervention will help many
students
Use synonyms
 to learn practical things
along with
Linking Words
 theoretical knowledge.
Submitted by rrjoshi1993 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Also, ensure that all examples are relevant to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, but try to use clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: