Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods

Today festival celebration has become a way of enjoyment and day off from work for most of the people,

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the

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rue message behind the traditional and religious celebration

have

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has

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been lost.

This

essay agrees with

this

statement. In

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the

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pcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my opinion in detail. To start with, traditional and religious festivals were being started by our religious guru and forefather to teach traditional and religious values.

In other words

, to spread the message of religion so that people could benefit from them and make their lives better but today’s society has totally deviated from

this

path.

For example

, on the day of religious celebrations

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people visit religious places with their friends and family members to show their respect for their religion or just to complete a ritual and

also

in many cases for the sake of enjoyment only.

Secondly

, due to modernization and the advent of

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the

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nternet era

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the way these celebrations were being held has totally changed. To illustrate, People start sending messages and teaching related to these religious festivals well in advance but people who read and apply them in their lives can be counted on fingers.

For instance

, buying new clothes, shopping and expensive electronic gadgets during the days of festivals has been attached by people with festival celebration

as a result

society has gone far away from the real objective of these cultural and religious events. To conclude, though events related to religion and culture gives us an opportunity to learn old values, in the modern world have totally become a time of fun and enjoyment.

Submitted by arorasahib81 on Sun Dec 13 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?

Some people think the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that air travelshould be restricted because it causes serious pollution and up the world's fuel resources. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?