IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #business #study #course #college #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Significance of tertiary education to gain knowledge about
business
Use synonyms
 has often been argued where some individuals favour the idea, and a few hold the notion that there are numerous other ways to learn it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
that
Remove the determiner
apply
show examples
how degree programs can enhance a person's acquisition of knowledge and skills to be a successful person along with the significance of gaining
Linking Words
f
Change the article
the
show examples
irst-hand
experience
Use synonyms
 in the field after school hours. Universities and colleges offer students with learning experiences in the hands of experienced and skilled staff. Most of them hold
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
apt qualification and skills to aware students with current
business
Use synonyms
 scenarios and strategies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students get a chance to
experience
Use synonyms
 multiple
exposure
Change to a plural noun
exposures
show examples
 to the learning materials when they avail on-site placements in real
business
Use synonyms
 firms.
This
Linking Words
 provides them with a chance to acquire work ethics, craft skills and enough information to be a future successful businessman.
Secondly
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
renowned companies prefer to recruit new employees who possess a higher degree in
business
Use synonyms
 qualification from a reputed university.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the employees from TATA motors are the graduates from the BHEL university
that is
Linking Words
 known for delivering
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 courses based on
business
Use synonyms
 units.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are a few opponents who consider that there are several ways to be prepared to become an entrepreneur
such
Linking Words
 as opting to work under someone after school hours.
Such
Linking Words
 ventures can prepare a person for better
business
Use synonyms
 opportunities by gaining real life-based
experience
Use synonyms
, knowledge and craft skills beforehand.
Additionally
Linking Words
, one can gain enough public relationships before even entering into the profession that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 essential to bloom in
business
Use synonyms
 areas. Examples of
such
Linking Words
 successful businesspersons are numerous like Ratan TATA, Steve job and many more, who started earlier and did not have any higher qualification. Having
this
Linking Words
 understanding , I
Add the comma(s)
, however,
show examples
however
Linking Words
 believe that it is necessary to have both,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good tertiary education and skills and a beforehand
experience
Use synonyms
 to succeed in
business
Use synonyms
 workforce areas as all these are indispensable assets of one's craft that he can utilise to become successful in future
business
Use synonyms
 ventures. To recapitulate, it is inferred from the above discussion that both a higher degree and an
experience
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 gained before entering into the
business
Use synonyms
 can enhance a persons’ chances to be a productive and
hence
Linking Words
 a successful businessman.
Submitted by binitadangol76 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: