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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There has been a long debate whether children should do group study or not. Discuss both views and your opinion.

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in competition among scholars. Some people argue that association discussion is a waste of time and creates differences,
while
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 others believe that it makes easy-to-understand topics. Both sides of
this
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 topic will be proven by careful analysis before constructing an inference and I will give my opinion. The primary reason to support why team-based education should be incorporated into the curriculum is that it significantly enhances cooperative skills in students. To illustrate
this
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, in a association assessment, the tasks are distributed which eases children’s load, and they learn to work in a team,
consequently
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, it would prepare them for their future job in a team-based setting.
Further
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 to
this
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, partnership studies ignite children to generate diverse ideas and opinions as involve more than one brain.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, sometimes top trainees become enemies of each other
due to
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 one of them wants to get the top position in the class and it leads to ruins their impending.
In addition
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, another factor is that in a crowd study, not all the pupils are brilliant some of them are slow learners, and it becomes very hard to explain them.
For instance
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, slow sophomores waste the time of intelligent teens and sharp pupils lose time and concentration.
As a consequence
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, it is evident that some great teenagers get low marks in their final exams. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
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 intelligent teens sometimes feel low from their competitors,
in contrast
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, team discussion is always fabulous for peers, so they can have a better prospective.
Further
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, it is predicted that studying in the groups is going to continue in the future as well.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the examples to directly support your points. This will strengthen the argument and provide a clearer connection to the main clause.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are slightly awkwardly phrased. Consider rephrasing for better clarity and avoiding repetition.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay and mentions both sides of the topic, which is good for clarifying the objectives of your writing.
complete response
You have provided points for both views, making your response balanced. This is good for achieving task completion.
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