IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many parents think that it is good to teach children about the value of money. Why do you think it is important to teach them the value of money? In what ways can you help children learn the value of money?

#parents #children #value #money
Constantly increasing materialistic era has heightened the status of the families dramatically.
Thus
, it has become crucial that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
youngsters should realize the value of finance according to the parents' perspective. There are tremendous methods to conscious the minors about an adequate use of notes that would be captivated in the following paragraphs along with its reasons. To commence with, the juveniles are the future of the nation. When the minors will realize an adequate utilization of the capital by reducing their unconscious consumption
consequently
, they will get aware of the phenomenon of investment on activities
such
 as sports, education, training, etcetera.
Moreover
,
this
 employment will certainly prove as a boon for them because it will increase their bank balance.
Therefore
,
this
 practice will eliminate the stress and anxiety of the youngsters in relation to impart expensive education to their toddlers in the near future which
further
 make their lives the beds of roses.
Moreover
, as one hand alone cannot make the clap sound, the juveniles alone cannot learn appropriate usage of currency until their parents would not teach the minors to be conscious about the real-world issues
such
 as poverty, water and education crunch in the backward provinces and countries.
As a result
,
this
 awareness would lead them to save notes so that they will become potent to do the charity to serve the people. To recapitulate, it is quite significant to incite the youngsters to save the finance in order to secure their future and serve the society by their parents as well as teachers using a variety of methods including avoiding overspending and realization of real-world problems.
Thus
,
this
 practice would not only make them successful in their lives but,
also
 make them civilians toward the nation.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: