IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree.

#computer #effects #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to technological advancements,
computer
technology
 has been flourished so quickly with the help of experts and became available at every corner of the world because of the global market and free trade facilities. It is always been a controversial debate that using
computer
technology
 on a regular basis have some positive and negative effects on children. We will shed some light on the advantages and drawbacks and will draw a logical conclusion later on. To commence with, many young people are allured through the latest development in
computer
technology
 and always want to explore the new activities which enable them to learn something than ever before.
Similarly
,
computer
 games are one of the significant platforms that are quite popular among young people.
Computer
 games are leisure activity for young children of the current modern world. It helps them to develop skills
such
 as decision making, reflex and cognitive development through playing tactical and strategy games.
Secondly
, many teenagers are more attracted to social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, etc. It allows connecting with the number of people who are located at any corner of the globe and eventually they make new connections.
In addition
, they can join in some online discussion to learn for some new subject or theory so that they can share the ideas and learn it.
For instance
, there is a plethora of schools and colleges who have online discussion forums on Quora website, where individuals do share their new ideas and difficulties, they can learn and solve it through online discussion among several experts who connect through the internet.
However
, there are some demerits involve the higher usage of
computer
technology
. Many young people spend an ample amount of time in front of
computer
 screens by playing games and chatting on social media and become an addiction. It can have some adverse effects on their eyes and mind in the long run.
Moreover
, there is a lot of exposure available on violence and fighting games and eventually, it can lead nature to more aggression and can have a negative impact on their mind. In conclusion, as per my viewpoint, parents and teachers should allow the usage of
computer
technology
 that can be useful for the children in education and developing practical skills but they should
also
 monitor and limit the amount of time regularly.
Submitted by Nikita & Kash  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: