In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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To begin

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, most countries have longer-life people

instead

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in past decades. Few people believe that the governments are faced with consequences by an older population but others think that elderly communities have benefits for society. There are many advantages of elders

as well as

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a few disadvantages of having elders. I will discuss both views in detail in upcoming paragraphs.

However

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, it has some benefits for society related to their experience and knowledge because they have spent a whole life in many years

then

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youngsters can learn about lifestyles and histories.

Also

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, they have contributed to the economy and civilization by paying taxes in past years. Not only do they reduce pressure on youth employment but

also

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they give opportunities for volunteerism and mentorship.

For instance

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, experienced individuals provide their knowledge by organization with seminars and they teach about personal relationships.

Nevertheless

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, there are a few disadvantages of having an ageing population because they increase healthcare and pension costs.

Moreover

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, if they strain on social welfare systems

then

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it decreases workforce and productivity in the civilization.

Furthermore

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, they depend on younger generations and they lack technological adaptability because they do not know how to use modern gadgets. The government is paying the highest amount for an old age allowance

then

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it affects the system because if the authorities save

this

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money

then

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they build infrastructures for youth.

For example

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, the government makes few policies for investments during their services and after retirement, the authorities pay

this

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money as an old age allowance with interest to the elders. In conclusion, senior citizens give benefits to the communities

along with

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experience and knowledge.

It is clear that

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there are some advantages for senior citizens beyond the disadvantages.

psingh8059Fri Apr 26 2024

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Introduction clarity

Ensure that your introduction more explicitly states your viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages. A clearer thesis statement could guide the reader smoothly into the body paragraphs.

Content Development

In your body paragraphs, try to explicitly link your examples and points back to how they specifically affect society, balancing your analysis between advantages and disadvantages.

Example Usage

When discussing examples or advantages/disadvantages, provide more specific evidence or real-world situations where possible. This will strengthen the support for your arguments.

Transition and Structure

Work on varying your sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay and make transitions smoother between ideas.

Balanced Analysis

You have successfully identified both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, giving your essay a balanced view.

Effective Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reaffirming the stance you've taken throughout the essay.

Relevance to Prompt

You did a good job maintaining relevance to the prompt, ensuring that all your points and examples were directly related to the topic at hand.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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