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Band 6.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
To improve the overall
health
 of the public, a section of the society considers physical activity
inform
Correct your spelling
in form
show examples
 of sports very vital.
However
, a few argue that
this
 would have no significant effect on the well-being of the community and
therefore
 other measures need to be explored. In my opinion, other factors need to be considered in order to improve public
health
. On one hand, sports
such
 as running, football, volleyball, netball, swimming, to mention but a few, have been linked to the eradication of numerous
health
 problems like high cholesterol, hypertension and obesity. Because of
this
 observation, physical education has been included in the syllabus of all primary schools in Uganda. I believe that participating in sports has contributed to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
health
 among participants. Still, physical exercises alone can not be the major attribute to a
heathier
Correct your spelling
healthier
show examples
 person.
On the other hand
, I suggest that
health
 comes from a collective effort concerning
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 changes, eating habits and physical exercise.
For instance
, a number of medical practitioners have recommended a combination of the above three so that the
health
 of their patients is improved. In fact
Add a comma
,
show examples
health
 has always been related to what people eat;
this
 has been shown in Netflix documentaries like 'Heal' that relate eating habits to general
health
. Another well-known scientist ,Hippocrates, suggested that 'let food be thy medicine'.
This
 clearly indicates that sports
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 likely not the major key to public
health
. To conclude, it is my perspective that physical exercise in form of sports is beneficial for the
health
 of the community.
Nonetheless
, the
health
 of the public depends on other numerous factors which need to be researched and considered.
Submitted by Christine  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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