Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some prisoners have rehabilitated after being released and become a better person.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that measures taken by teachers and parents are better to teach the
next
generation how to become
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
law-abiding citizens than stories from ex-prisoners. There are several reasons why ex-prisoners are not suitable for educating teenagers against youth
crime
.
Firstly
, whilst they can share with adolescents about their experience of
crime
, teenagers who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
not developed their own mature values are likely to be subconsciously influenced by criminals' mindset and wrong values, which might lead to varying degrees of social problems.
Secondly
, hearing
v
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ivid and accurate description of
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
rime story from ex-offenders, to some extent, will negatively help young people imitate lawbreaking activities in their minds, even in real life.
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe other alternatives should be taken into consideration. From the perspective of teachers, the lectures about law and sentence delivered by teachers, in class, and the videos about harsh life in jail are both deterrent and warnings to prevent underage youths from breaking the law.
Besides
, students who misbehave at school should receive more severe punishment and psychological intervention if necessary in order to deter improper
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
from worsening into criminal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. As for parents, helping their children with the establishment of right values plays an irreplaceable role in the mental health development of adolescents. By that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mean, parents certainly need to be the
first
to help children learn the differences between right and wrong since they are the people who know their children the best in the world. In conclusion, while thrilling
crime
stories are more appealing and acceptable to young people, proper guidance from educators and parents is the better option of preventing juvenile delinquency.
Submitted by 1771556605 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: