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Writing Samples
Band 7

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

In the modern era, people in many countries have been spending less
time
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 with their families, a trend driven by various factors.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 and its effects on individuals and society.
Firstly
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, one primary reason for reduced family
time
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 is the increasing demands of
work
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. Many individuals
work
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 long hours or hold multiple jobs to meet their financial needs, leaving little
time
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 for family interaction.
For instance
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, in urban areas, professionals often prioritize career advancement over family gatherings.
Additionally
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, the rise of technology plays a significant role. Smartphones and social media have become major distractions, with people often preferring to scroll through their devices rather than engage in meaningful conversations with loved ones.
This
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 shift is particularly evident among younger generations, who are more immersed in digital entertainment. The effects of
this
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 trend are largely negative when it weakens family bonds, leading to a lack of emotional support.
For example
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, children growing up with minimal parental interaction may struggle with emotional development, potentially resulting in
behavioral
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behavioural
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 issues.
Secondly
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,
this
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 trend can contribute to mental health problems. Adults who lack family connection often report higher levels of stress and loneliness, as they miss the comfort and understanding that family provides. On a broader scale, the erosion of family
time
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 may lead to the loss of cultural traditions, as younger generations become disconnected from family values and heritage. In conclusion, the decline in family
time
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 is primarily
due to
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work
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 pressures and technology overuse, resulting in weakened relationships, mental health challenges, and cultural disconnection. Addressing
this
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 issue requires a balance between
work
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, technology, and quality family
time
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 to foster stronger familial ties.

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task achievement
Expand on reasons and effects with more examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve flow between ideas.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion.
content
Relevant examples used to support points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • predominant
  • commitments
  • imbalance
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • globalization
  • weakened
  • disconnected
  • strain
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • developmental issues
  • behavioral problems
  • parental guidance
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