People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?
In the modernized era, busy
life
are making a distance between Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
and others. Having time
together in family
became more and more rare than ever. The Correct article usage
a family
reasons
and effects of this
will be dicussed
in the following Correct your spelling
discussed
garagraph
.
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
To begin
, there are plenty lot of reasons
making people
in many countries are using
less Wrong verb form
spend
time
with their family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
Firstly
, people
are changing their priority
for their own life. For Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
Add an article
an adult
adult
, they focus on daily Fix the agreement mistake
adults
ocupation
the most of Correct your spelling
occupation
time
with desire
to achieve the peak of Add an article
the desire
a desire
career
. Correct pronoun usage
their career
Besides
, young people
also
are forced go
to school with Fix the infinitive
to go
thick
schedule Correct article usage
a thick
study
, Change preposition
of study
this
leads to their entertainment demands Correct pronoun usage
which
more increase
. Wrong verb form
increasing
Secondly
, technology devices are also
a main reasons
causing Fix the agreement mistake
reason
people
have
more distance. To be specific, it is not rare to see a husband Fix the infinitive
to have
comback
home after work and just only scroll Correct your spelling
come back
comeback
the
phone, Change preposition
on the
do
not start Unnecessary verb
apply
a
positive communication with his wife and children. Playing computer Correct article usage
apply
game
is Fix the agreement mistake
games
also
a
interest that youngsters want to Change the article
an
immerse
, Wrong verb form
be immersed
instead
Change preposition
in instead
having
face-to-face talks with their parents.
Change preposition
of having
Moreover
, using less time
for family will cause consequences later. First of all, the lack of minimum understanding and loving words will gradually develop the
strangeness, even causing regular Correct article usage
apply
arguement
, Correct your spelling
arguments
furthermore
, increase
the divorce rate. Wrong verb form
increasing
In addition
, the kids in houses having more disagreement points in family
will be affected by Add an article
the family
absencing
sympathy and the proper teaching of adults. Replace the word
the absence of
This
is also
premise
for the Add an article
the premise
raise
of depression Correct your spelling
rise
desease
and crimes.
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
To sum up
, the main reasons
causing
Verb problem
apply
people
are giving
less Verb problem
spending
time
with their relatives are the changes of
Change preposition
in
priority
and technology. These Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
reasons
will affect to
the familiar relations and growth of children.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is logically developed. This will improve both coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more relatable.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structures. This will help with the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the key points of the question, discussing both the reasons and effects of spending less time with family.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a solid framework for your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.