IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, spending
timefor
Fix the agreement mistake
time with
show examples
 family more and
more
Rephrase
increasingly
show examples
 rare in many countries. The
reasones
Correct your spelling
reasons
 and
influcences
Correct your spelling
influences
 of
this
Linking Words
 will be discussed in
paragraph
Correct article usage
the paragraph
show examples
. There are many reasons to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 with their family.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the society is increasingly developing so everyone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to follow it. They mostly
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
Therefor
Use the right word
Therefore
show examples
, individuals will difficult to arrange quality family
time
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 makes members
in
Change preposition
of
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household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
less
Verb problem
have less
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to talk to each other, and they have a lot of arguments, which lead to fights between individuals. The second reason,
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of technology
too
Verb problem
has become too
show examples
 popular, which makes people become addicted to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
, and gradually
separating
Wrong verb form
separates
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 from
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is a cause of
society
Check wording
society's
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 worse because when young people use too much Internet,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of family
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they will be contacted
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 bad effects or criminals.
For example
Linking Words
, the younger
Check wording
generation prefer
show examples
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to talk to virtual friends
instead
Linking Words
 of chatting with family members. In conclusion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reasons have shown the degradation of family relations in many countries, and
that is
Linking Words
concern
Correct article usage
a concern
show examples
.

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planning
Plan your essay with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
organization
Write one clear idea in each paragraph and end with why it matters.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
evidence
Give more examples or facts to back your points.
grammar
Check spell and gram mistakes. Correct words like 'reasones', 'influcences', 'Therefor'.
language
Keep phrases short and use simple words from top 100.
content
An idea about time with family is clear.
structure
There is a plan and a closing statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • predominant
  • commitments
  • imbalance
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • globalization
  • weakened
  • disconnected
  • strain
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • developmental issues
  • behavioral problems
  • parental guidance
What to do next:
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