Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.

There is no denying the fact that personal amusement is among the most important factors that help a
person
get rid of the nervous pressure he may suffer from.
This
essay will discuss the reason why hardly anyone allocates some
time
to do their
hobbies
and what influence
this
has on the
people
in the community.
To begin
with, there are many reasons for
people
spending less
time
on
hobbies
.
Firstly
,
life
becomes expensive.
Therefore
, the
person
has to work the majority of the day.
In other words
,
people
must work to provide a decent
life
for themselves and their families.
In addition
, the pressure of these responsibilities will absolutely make them feel depressed, lonely, and tired.
For example
, after work, going to home, get some rest, eat, and spend
time
with family,
then
sleep.
This
routine has no amusement. If the individual lives a
life
without having fun, that may end badly for them and for their society. In terms of how influence doing
hobbies
in
people
's lives, in my opinion, I believe that the
person
who has a hobby looks at
life
in a positive way. It is
also
possible to say that
hobbies
open doors to meet other
people
with the same interests.
Moreover
, to learn new skills a
person
may not imagine that he is able to do them.
For instance
, trying new
hobbies
will encourage you to be fun and
this
will reflect positively on your health. In conclusion, there are many reasons to spend
time
with your
hobbies
. It is
also
true that affects your
life
in a good direction.
Submitted by ahadaloufi3a on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides reasonable explanations for why fewer people devote time to hobbies. To enhance this further, add more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay generally lacks a variety of cohesive devices, which affects the flow. Incorporate more linking words to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity. Occasionally, multiple ideas seem clustered in one paragraph, such as in the first body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and presents a structured argument.
task achievement
Your writing tone remains suitable and formal throughout the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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