Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There has been a heated debate on becoming rich doesn’t promise you to be

happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

. I completely concur with

this

view that there are not mean I will be happy even I have plenty of property. To commence with, there have several reasons why I agree that

money

cannot gain

happiness

Firstly

, even

money

can satisfy any physical-items requirement but those goods can't make my happy. Those items or facilities have no emotion, they can't talk to me or concern me, they make me feel alone.

Secondly

, our personal security will be dangerous due to my highly valuable property, some criminal who will try to assault or arrest your family in order to steal your

money

or some luxury items.

For example

, ten years ago, recording to Apple Taiwanese newspaper report that a 10 years old boy had been kidnapped by the criminal. The purpose of them was trying to gain a million pounds.

Thus

money

does not mean we are happy and

also

might cause our life in an unnecessary risk

However

, becoming

happiness

is very easy for me. In my concept, there has a couple of factors to have a

happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

life .

First

are my family and friends who are love me and concern me. Whenever where I’m they are trying to make happy and support me.

Furthermore

, be healthy and safe. If I’m not healthy I can't hand out with my friends or travelling the world.

For example

, in

this

2020 year, during the pandemic virus year a lot of people died and some of the people who have the virus-positive, they have to isolate separate from their family. In that situation,a lot of people have a bad experience

this

year. To sum up, I believe that holding an amount of

money

can purchase a high quality of life, while that

money

doesn’t mean we are

happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

Submitted by atruru0427 on Thu Dec 17 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In some countries married couples plan to have a baby at a later age due to the demands of their professional career. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it and give your opinion
It has become major issue to tackle these days that having baby aftersome time is good as partner get chance to understand each other, however, opponent's think that due to generation gap, it is not better for both parents and children .The following essay will explain the both side deeply along with my opinion .
5
band
You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: – explain your situation – describe your problems – tell him/her when you think you can move in
I am writing this letter to draw your immediate attention to some major problem that I am facing due to that i would not be able move in from next month.
6
band
Your next-door neighbour likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter describe the situation explain the problems it is causing you offer at least one solution
This is to inform you of a very critical situation that compled me to write this letter. I would like to inform that my neighbour, who resides in B block 209 , turns on her music system at 12:00 am every single day. Moreover, the music is so loud that it disturbs my sleep cycle.
4.5
band
Que: Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is to address it at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the view of the modern world, the environmental issue is notorious for humankind. This problem not only affects individuals, but also a large number of all countries around the world; thus, comprehensive actions are needed in order to reduce the undesirable effects. In this essay, I strongly agree an international collaboration is important to preserve mother nature.
8
band
Over population in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem, what are the causes of it and how can it be solved
It has been observed globally that overcrowded people in cities are the biggest problem. This essay will reflect on the reasons behind this issue, which are increased rates of job opportunities and better education. However, this essay will argue that job opportunities should be equal in each area and that good education should be provided in every state.

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries married couples plan to have a baby at a later age due to the demands of their professional career. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it and give your opinion

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: – explain your situation – describe your problems – tell him/her when you think you can move in

Your next-door neighbour likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter describe the situation explain the problems it is causing you offer at least one solution

Que: Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is to address it at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Over population in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem, what are the causes of it and how can it be solved