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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In today’s world many people own a smartphone Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#today’s #world #people #smartphone
Nowadays,
people
 tend to have their smartphones in their body. The author of
this
 essay believes that the benefits of accessing
information
 easily and connecting with all
people
 in the world outweigh the drawbacks of wasting
time
 surfing social media. One of the important advantages that must be mentioned is that smartphones can help
people
 easily access data everywhere. In
this
 digital area, phones are very important because all our
information
, and files related to work are in our high-tech devices, and using them is the fastest way to open them.
For instance
, many companies are developing AI chat which not only helps you search the
information
 but
also
 sort the
information
 correctly, it can help you save a lot of
time
 and you just need a smartphone to do that. Another benefit is that they make us feel connected to the community. Now there is the
time
 for the
Internet
, which means that you can do almost everything just on your phone. With the development of many social networks, we can chat, call, and share feelings with many
people
 in the world, it does not depend on where you are living. It makes
people
 connect. In some social networks, video calls are available, you can call your relatives and see their faces on camera.
Besides
 the benefits, smartphones
also
 have negative sides, one of those is we are spending more
time
 surfing the
internet
. I believe that it can be done by limiting our
time
 on the phone, we have to manage the
time
 to avoid wasting
time
. Some
people
 are afraid of losing some interesting news on the
internet
, they are looking at their phones all the
time
, and they need to have a timetable for when they can surf the
internet
.
To conclude
, owning a smartphone has many advantages that allow us to access
information
 quickly and easily, and connect with all
people
besides
 the drawback of wasting
time
 surfing the
internet

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the question and states your position without being ambiguous.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with specific examples and explanations for a balanced argument.
Task Achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas and make sure to fully expand on them to ensure comprehensive answers to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, including cohesive devices, to improve the logical flow of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are both present and function effectively to frame your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Expand your main points with relevant, supporting details, such as examples, reasons, or results, to improve the depth of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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