Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The social imbalance has existed since the inception of human beings. Many believe that a minimum difference in
salaries
of
Change preposition
between
wealthy
and Correct article usage
the wealthy
poor
is indispensable for a peaceful society. Correct article usage
the poor
However
, I completely disagree with this
argument and urge that the salaries
should be according to
the responsibilities
, levels and types of work
.
To begin
with, providing nearly equal salaries
to everyone can lead to the irresponsible behaviour of the youth in obtaining an education. This
is because the enthusiasm to learn and study will decay if ultimately everyone will be going to have nearly the same salaries
in the future. As a consequence
, the number of quality graduates will decline and
resulting in a substantial decrease in research and development. To illustrate, in 2018, a poll by the UK Government Correct word choice
apply
resulted
that 91% the university and college students go through rigorous studies and research only to get a job in future that offers a competitive salary.
Verb problem
showed
Moreover
, the balance in wealth among the people might affect the mental health of the people who usually have difficult
Correct quantifier usage
more difficult
work
responsibilities
than others, as they will be working harder for the almost same money that everyone will be going to get. Similarly
, most of the people for whom work
responsibilities
are relaxed, will not care to work
harder if they get almost the same salaries
on their promotions. For Example
, if the CEO and a clerk of the same company earn $600 a month, the clerk of that company might never care to work
harder for the promotion, and the CEO may stop working tirelessly for not earning enough money against his responsibilities
.
In conclusion, providing equal salaries
may contribute to happiness in society, its
disadvantages outweigh the advantages as Correct word choice
but its
this
social balance will discourage most of
Change preposition
apply
the
teenagers Correct article usage
apply
to study
with commitment and professionals Change preposition
from studying
to
Change preposition
from working
work
harder.Submitted by shahneel.siddiqui on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and supports it with relevant examples. However, ensure to address all parts of the prompt in your response for a more complete task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a logical flow of ideas. Ensure to maintain consistency in connecting your ideas throughout the essay for better cohesion.