IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals and animal products for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

#world #animals #products #food #medicine
In cultures all around the world, animal products are used for food, clothes, and
also
 for medicine. Because of the development of human society and values, I believe that we should try to limit the use of animals for our own purposes. With respect to food, people have eaten animals for as long as there have been people. Meat is a good source of protein and contains some important nutrients that are difficult to get from plants only.
However
, animals raised for food are often kept in terrible conditions and suffer a lot.
Moreover
, meat is a disaster for the environment as it leads to global warming and the pollution of rivers. As for clothing, there is no need to use animals in
this
 way. Modern technology has given us alternatives to leather and we no longer need fur to keep warm. In fact, fur is mainly worn for fashion reasons, which is disgusting if you consider that these animals are kept locked in cages until they are killed just for someone to look “fashionable”.
Finally
, using animals for medicine is a common traditional practice in many countries.
However
, the majority of
this
 “medicine” has no real effect.
For example
, rhino horn, which is supposed to cure many illnesses including cancer, is no different from human hair or fingernails.
Moreover
, many of these animals are facing extinction, which turns these mindless traditions from unnecessary to evil. Overall, I believe that we should always try to limit the suffering of all creatures and aim for a world where we do not use animal products. It would be better for the environment and for ourselves.
Submitted by omi.chandnani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: