Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays

Punctuation problem

Nowadays,

show examples

children

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like to spend most of their free time with gadgets like

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

or mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

for playing fascinating

games

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this

Linking Words

routine has stopped their physical

activities

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. In my opinion,

this

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is a negative development which can disturb

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children

Check wording

children's

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lifestyle and affect social

activities

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. One serious problem that can arise from

this

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addiction towards

computer

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games

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is that it restricts the

overall

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growth of a child. The unrestricted exposure to

screen

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screens

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has given birth to numerous diseases like obesity and low IQ

level

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levels

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, students

after

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, after

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coming back from school

continuously

Punctuation problem

, continuously

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play video

games

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on the laptop

instead

Linking Words

of going outside to play with their friends and do physical

activities

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Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development has

also

Linking Words

influenced the involvement of

children

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in extra-curricular

activities

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at schools. They hardly feel encouraged to pursue sports

activities

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in school because of

computer

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games

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dominance

Check wording

apply

show examples

This

Linking Words

kind of behaviour can result in inappropriate growth of a child's brain. Another issue is the reduction in social interaction.

Instead

Linking Words

of moving out of the house, making new friends,

getting

Correct word choice

and getting

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involved in various

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games

Punctuation problem

games,

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children

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like to spend time in isolation with their gadgets.

This

Linking Words

unfriendly behaviour is one of the reasons for

Correct article usage

the progressively

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progressively

Replace the word

progressive

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increase in stress and depression issues in early ages among youngsters. Recently, in a newspaper column, it was shown how

children

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take

computer

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games

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serious

Replace the word

seriously

show examples

that they start feeling worthless if they lose in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

This

Linking Words

development might seem innovative or new to parents

but

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, but

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in the long run,it can have disastrous effects on their

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children

Check wording

children's

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lives. In conclusion,

although

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technology has

revolutionized

Use the right word

revolutionised

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our lives by inventing

gadgets

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gadgets,

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it has brought too many problems for

children

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by introducing attractive

games

Use synonyms

Shilpa Suri

Dec 23, 2020

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grammar

Work on grammar and word form. Use short, clear sentences in simple words.

structure

Plan your answer. In the intro say what you will discuss and your view. In the end restate it.

content

Clear view that the issue is mainly negative.

content

Some real ideas and examples are given (obesity, social life).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, formal exams are used to assess students abilities and to judge the success of their education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using formal exams to assess students abilities? Do you think the benefits of using formal exams outweigh the drawbacks

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?