IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The only reason to work hard is to earn money. To what extant you agree or disagree?

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It goes without saying that hard
work
Use synonyms
 always pays off.
In other words
Linking Words
, if you
work
Use synonyms
 hard you will always get the
reward
Use synonyms
 you deserve. But, there is another school of thought that the only reason a person
work
Use synonyms
 hard is to earn
money
Use synonyms
. I support the statement wholeheartedly. I have some solid grounds to defend my opinion which I would like to explicate at length in paragraphs to come.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, undoubtedly
money
Use synonyms
 is a thing that can get one anything in
this
Linking Words
 world and everyone is trying to earn as much as possible.
Hence
Linking Words
 in our society, one is trained to get motivation from the thought of making
money
Use synonyms
 since childhood.
For example
Linking Words
, from the day of joining the school to passing out as graduate,all our education system is focused towards providing a successful carrier to individual.
Success
Add an article
The success
show examples
 of one’s carriers is derived from his wealth and
thus
Linking Words
 the idea of making more and more
money
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 keeps on motivating
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
erson to
work
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 more and more.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
money
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 is the
reward
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
w
Add an article
the
show examples
ork we do, and it provides the zeal to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the people go to
o
Add an article
the
an
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ffice and do their routine
work
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 and get a
fix
Change the verb form
fixed
show examples
 salary and leave
o
Add an article
the
show examples
ffice at their fix time.
However
Linking Words
, when a cash incentive is linked to performance everyone tries to
work
Use synonyms
 as much as they could to get that
reward
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 monetary incentive-driven zeal is used by most of the organizations to get more productivity from the workers nowadays. In the end, it can be concluded that though the
money
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 is perceived as the
reward
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 of
work
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 done, actually the
money
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 is the driving force that makes one
work
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 hard, either it
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a salaried employee or the employer everyone is working to earn
money
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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