IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

more and more people are moving from the rural areas to live in the cities. what problems can be caused? how can these problem solved

Nowadays, many people are migrating from urban areas to settle in the conurbation. The risk of
this
Linking Words
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
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 to be focused in several areas, and a number of solutions appear to be possible. Surprisingly, the infrastructure of the city will be affected by urban sprawl.
On
Change preposition
In
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 the first place, the governmental facilities in the city will struggle to give
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 services, chiefly the educational and healthcare sectors, since the high density of population, which
pressure
Check wording
apply
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will
be
Verb problem
put
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 made on
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 departments.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
dwindling of the
Correct word order
the dwindling of
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 job vacancies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 faced by the megacities,
although
Linking Words
 the existence of a high number of qualified workers, but
also
Linking Words
 the percentage of unemployment has soared ,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the high density of city
dweller
Fix the agreement mistake
dwellers
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Taiwan has run the risk of joblessness,
while
Linking Words
 it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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one of the biggest cities.
However
Linking Words
, was the government develop the rural areas, that would
the
Verb problem
lead the
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 rural depopulation.
Hence
Linking Words
,
ameliorated
Wrong verb form
ameliorate
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 and build the essential institutions, namely the schools and hospitals, encouraging the citizens to stay in the
urban’s
Check wording
urban
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 vicinities,
as well as
Linking Words
 securing a decent life, allowing those people to subsistence their families. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, an abundance of job positions must be introduced, as the safeguarding of a sort of income, resulting in a self-sufficient
of
Change preposition
apply
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life.
For instance
Linking Words
, doctors and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 vacation considered
a
Correct article usage
apply
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well-paid
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
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 for the rural dweller. In conclusion, the crucial effect of shifting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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megacities is the scarcity of governmental amenities and suffering from a high number of
un-workers
Use the right word
unemployed
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, as new facilities are constructed,
also
Linking Words
assuring
Verb problem
ensure
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 job vacancies,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be remedies of that problem.

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organization
Plan your writing with two clear parts: problems and fixes.
grammar
Use simple, clear grammar; avoid hard words.
coherence
Use topic sentences in each paragraph and link ideas with 'also', 'but', 'and'.
content
Explain your examples; do not just name them.
grammar
Check phrases and use correct word form.
structure
Your writing shows the topic and has an intro and a final end.
content
There is an attempt to discuss both problems and fixes.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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