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Band 6.5

Government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education
In recent years, the question of distributing subsidies on
education
 has become controversial around the world. Some people argue that the public institutions should reduce the budget of the art field to support to the academic area. Regarding
this
 issue, I partially agree with what has been mentioned above. Following are the reasons.
To begin
 with there are some merits of setting more grant of money on the
education
. More importantly, in fact, the arts have wasted a lot of money on useless materials rather than
education
.
In other words
, any budget should distribute effectively that the academic could handle appropriately on various parts well.
In addition
, the art field interest has been declining today, while the importance of
education
 has become wider.
Thus
, these subsidies should separate according to the times.
However
,
this
 order which set more grant of money on
education
 has drawbacks as well.
First
, it could bring
a
Remove the article
apply
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heavy competition among students. To illustrate
this
 could support all kinds of students who want to learn with quality
education
.
Second
, the value of arts could drop rapidly which have represented the country’s development. For Korean artists example, he insisted that many developed countries already had high well-cultivated art culture than developing countries had.
Hence
,
this
 rule could bring unexpected impacts. In conclusion, as mentioned above,
although
 having various reasons why the public organizations should set more budget on the educational areas, it is more likely to bring catastrophic results.
Therefore
, it is convincing for the governments and relevant institutions should adjust subsidies appropriately. On top of that, the environmental system could take a hit as the heavy pollutions ,
for example
, contaminated water, air pollution from aircraft and cruises for
transportingtravellers
Correct your spelling
transporting travellers
transporting travelers
.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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